Sometimes Beans Are Cruel

It’s common knowledge, laughter is good medicine. Everyone can use a good laugh, right? That’s why I’m sharing this lovely piece of literature – written by yours truly in a writing group a few weeks ago. We were learning how to write well by mirroring excellent authors. The author we were studying for this piece of work happened to be entertaining a very sad topic. I chose to take a Weird Al Yankovic approach instead. Are you ready for this? Here we go!

Sometimes beans are cruel.

This is ultimately the fundamental lesson here; as doctors hail their nutritional value, children and people of all ages suffer the social side effects.

Sometimes it’s lima beans. Sometimes its kidney beans. Sometimes it’s great northern beans. Sometimes it’s black beans. Sometimes it’s refried beans. Sometimes it’s red beans. Sometimes it’s green beans. Sometimes it’s pinto beans. Sometimes it’s cannellini beans. The results are in: beans of every variety generate flatulence. This is the price of being human.

So dig out your air freshener. Blast your music as loud as you can. And delight in all the nutrition your body is receiving, despite all the cruelty of beans.

Are We There Yet?

Oh that infamous question on long journeys, “Are we there yet?” How many times have you asked this very question? I know I’ve asked it countless times. I can’t remember a season in my life when I personally haven’t been waiting for something. When I was a little girl I waited to see if I got the latest Barbie for Christmas. I waited for school to start…and then I waited for school to end. Then I waited to get my driver’s license. After that I waited see if I was accepted to the college of my choice. Right now I’m waiting for several things in my life: for a job, for my future husband, for a place to call my own, for people I’ve been praying for to know Papa God’s extravagant love, for my friends to see the promises of God fulfilled in their lives…the list goes on. It’s the nature of life.  We’re always waiting for the next thing. So what does contentment look like if we’re always waiting? How do we wait well…not only for our own desires but to see the desires of our dearest friends come true? How do we live life to the full and embrace the present moment while living in the tension of longing for those desires to be fulfilled? I’ve been thinking about these questions a lot lately and have a few thoughts on the matter.

Scripture is very clear that patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 says,
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” So in order to have any of these things…I must be filled with the Spirit of God. Without the Holy Spirit, these character qualities are impossible to muster up in my own strength. Could it be that waiting helps us realize our dependence upon God? I think so. I’ve learned being dependent upon God is so much better than relying on my own strength. I tend to mess things up when I do them on my own. But when I involve God…things turn out so much better. You see, He’s a mastermind of our hearts, our minds, and our entire lives. He sees the tapestry that He’s intricately weaving. He knows what thread needs to be placed where and when all the time aware of the beauty the tapestry holds not only in the end product but also in the process. The weaving (waiting) may seem mysterious to us because we can only see the tapestry in part, but perhaps that mystery is God’s way of inviting us into communion with Him. 

Proverbs 25:2 says, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.” Why would it be the glory of God to conceal a matter and the glory of kings to search out a matter? Some mothers and fathers of the faith have helped shed a little light on this question for me in the last year. I tend to agree with them in that the glory happens because the concealing is God inviting us into communion with Him. He’s not hiding things FROM us but rather He’s hiding them FOR us. The treasures He has for us our intended to be revealed. He gives us the treasure maps (a combination of God’s Word, prayer, and His people) and then invites us on this grand adventure with Him. And on the journey to find the treasure (our hearts desire) …we get to embrace the biggest treasure of all – knowing and receiving the extravagant love of the King of Kings. After all, He’s our guide and we get to spend a lot of time together while seeking out this treasure we’ve been anticipating and looking forward to.

So what does this adventure in seeking out and waiting for the treasure to be revealed look like? How are we supposed to search out the matter? I have a few ideas mostly stemming from Psalm 37.

Take delight in the Lord! Psalm 37:4-5 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your hearts desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and He will help you." God loves to have fun with us. Go ahead, tell Him a joke. Ask Him to tell you a joke. Laugh together. And delight in His goodness. Are you having a brain fog and can’t remember who He is? Do a study on the Names of God and what they mean to jog your memory. If that doesn’t surface delight in your heart for the Lord, then ask Him to enroll you in the school of experience regarding the names of God. For example, when you experience Yaweh Rapha, the Lord heals, I can assure you delighting in Him will come easily! In fact, being enrolled in the school of experience regarding who God is, is always a good idea even when you’re easily able to delight in Him.

Commit all I do to the Lord. For me this looks like handing the control of my life over to God. That means partnering with God to do what He asks of me and then leaving the timing and directions for my next steps in His mighty and fully capable hands. Whenever I take the reins into my own hands, it seems that I always end up out of synch with God’s timing and plan. But He’s always faithful to gently ask me if I’d like Him to take the reins back and then aligns everything back to His order for my good and for His glory.

Trust God. This means saying no to fear whenever it pops up. It means remembering and believing God is who He says He is and He does what He says He will do. I love how scripture says God will help us when we trust Him.

Be still before God. Psalm 37:7 says, “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.” I personally think this is where our romance with the King of Kings begins. As we gaze into His eyes, see who He is and experience Him while we are still in His presence, how can we not fall in love with Him? He’s too good and perfect not to! I also think that this is where rest happens. Isaiah 30:15 says, “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” In rest is your salvation. It’s in this place of being still before God that we gain strength. If we’re always working and moving, we’ll have no energy to enjoy the treasure once it’s revealed. Besides, aren’t journeys more fun when you rest along the way?

Wait patiently for God to act. There’s that word again – patience. Looks like God intended waiting to be an intricate part of our lives, so it’s time to embrace it and depend upon Him to help us be patient. Give yourself permission to wait. Just because our culture encourages immediate gratification, doesn’t mean we need to buy into it. God’s Kingdom is upside down according the wisdom of this world. But in the end, God has victory over darkness…over the wisdom of this world. I think I’ll choose to be on God’s team and wait patiently for Him to act.

Fill my heart with Scripture so I won’t waver again. Psalm 37:31 says, “They fill their hearts with God’s law, so they will never slip from his path.” Wow – so filling my heart with scripture has a direct correlation with staying on the path God has for me. It turns out the Word of God is an intricate part of the treasure map. I think I’ll pay attention to it, meditate on it, and fill my heart with it.

Keep being patient and travel steadily along God’s path. Psalm 37:34 says, “Don’t be impatient for the Lord to act! Travel steadily along his path. He will honor you, giving you the land. You will see the wicked destroyed.” Such great rewards are ahead of us when we travel steadily along God’s path and wait for Him to act.

I've only selected a few scriptures from Psalm 37, but the whole chapter is full of insights, wisdom and guidance for waiting well. I realize this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to learning how to wait well. There’s so much more – always is. But I pray this is an encouragement to you and for God’s grace and love to cover you in on your journey toward whatever you’re waiting for. May you find contentment in the journey. There are Divine appointments to attend in the waiting…nothing is wasted. And be encouraged because as Bill Johnson says, “A delayed answer to prayer is gaining interest!” All the better of a celebration to be had! And I dearly love to celebrate!

11 Secrets to Success for the Single Life

One of my dear friends, Claire Roth, recently introduced me as an expert in waiting on God for a husband. I must say the introduction took me by surprise a bit as I’d never really thought of myself in that light. But after meeting with the young lady I was introduced to in this manner and sharing revelations, insights, and secrets for living the single life with contentment, I realized God has taught me a lot on this topic - especially in the last decade.  And it’s time to share the good news with other fellow singles. We need each other to stay encouraged…and I hope that by me sharing the insights I’ve gained on my path toward contentment gives many others the freedom to enjoy life to the full more quickly.

God has been speaking to me a lot in the last year through John 10:10. It says this, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” I find it such an encouragement that Jesus came to give us abundant life. That means a life full of joy, freedom, love, peace, contentment, etc. The list goes on and on. At age 30 I’m finally grasping the abundant life daily. There is always more of God’s goodness to experience…and I say, “sign me up for that!” There’s also the undeniable fact that Satan – the ultimate thief – is constantly at work to steal our joy and deceive us. So how can we have victory in living the single life and experience the fullness of life Jesus paid for on the cross? Good question. I have a few secrets that have proven true in my own life that I’d love to share with you.

1. Forgive anyone from the opposite gender who has hurt you, and get rid of any bitterness you've been holding onto. Unforgiveness invites discontentment into our lives. And once bitterness takes root, we become miserable and make everyone else around us miserable. Bitterness strangles life. Resentment keeps you locked up. A big lie the enemy tries to feed us is that by not forgiving we’re punishing the person that has hurt us. The truth is we’re actually punishing ourselves. It’s as if we’ve locked ourselves in a prison and thrown away the key. Save yourself the misery by obeying God’s Word and forgiving others quickly. There’s so much freedom to experience in forgiveness! What if you don’t feel like forgiving? My experience is that once I obey God – the feelings follow.
2. If you’re idolizing your desire to have a mate – put an end to it! How do you know if you’re idolizing being with someone? Ask yourself what consumes your thoughts. If you think about being with someone more than you think about Jesus – you’re probably guilty of making a potential mate your idol. A great scripture verse I pray all the time to keep my heart pure and free from idolatry is Psalm 139:22-23. It says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  That’s a great verse to pray all the time to make sure our hearts are aligned with God’s regarding any pitfall we have tendencies toward. Start getting out of the pit of idolatry by first repenting and then asking God to captivate your heart. There’s no greater or sweeter romance than with Jesus.  He even comes for us on a white horse! (See Revelation 19: 11-21)
3. Release control of your love story and invite God to write it. Dr. Mitch Kruse, a man I highly respect and one who is filled with great wisdom once said to me, “For every no, God has a better yes.” It’s so true. I've seen it played out in my life in many different situations. I encourage you to trust God beyond the small picture you currently see. And when it’s difficult to do so, recount how He’s been faithful and remind yourself that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). That means He will continue to be faithful! And if you can’t remember His faithfulness, ask a friend to help you recall how God has been faithful in your life. Sometimes we need a friend to help us remember.
4. Keep the hope alive – don’t bury your dreams – but don’t settle for less either. It’s ok to desire someone to share your life with. If you've passed that magical age you thought you’d be married by, don’t give up hope. Often times our idea of timing is different than God’s. But I guarantee His timing is always better than ours because He can see the big picture while we only have a limited perspective. Go ahead, pour out your heart’s desires to God (He’s the one that placed Him there in the first place) and embrace all the emotions that come with that. Then ask God for grace to hold those desires loosely so that He can orchestrate your life and bring your desires about. Don’t give up and settle for less than God’s best for you. Remember, Jesus came to give us life to the FULL!
5. Know what season you’re in. This has been one of the most freeing keys to being content in my singleness and one I wished I would have known about a lot sooner. Ask God what season you’re in. Is this a season to be romanced only by God? To meet lots of different people of the opposite gender but not enter into a serious relationship? (If so, be sure to communicate this up front rather than leading anyone on to believe otherwise.) To enter into a serious relationship? To prepare for marriage? (This can happen while single or dating.) To fast from dating? Hopefully you get the picture. The seasons of single life are obviously not limited to the list above. My point is simply that there are many different seasons in the single life. And if you know what season you’re in, then you can focus solely on that and not waste your energy and time elsewhere. So if it’s a season to be romanced only by God, I don’t allow my thoughts to be consumed with if I’ll have a date this Friday night. One word of caution – seasons can change suddenly. So it’s always important to be in constant communication with God to make sure you’re on the same page. He’s trustworthy and will notify you if you keep your gaze on Him. I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to want formulas. God, however, often times doesn't operate with formulas. So one of the biggest lessons I had to learn in the process of knowing what season I’m in is that it’s OK to not have a time limit on any specific season. I once was in a season of fasting from dating. Figuratively speaking, I was hoping God would say to me that I would be entering that season on April 1 and exiting it on March 31. That didn't happen. Instead, I received instructions to check with Him should I be approached by a man for a date. God was teaching me to depend on Him, listen to Him, and be ready to change course when He said go. Often times, we want to contain God’s ways in a box. I’m here to tell you that it’s impossible to do so and things go a lot more smoothly when you keep the conversation going with God. Check with the Lord, align your heart with God’s heart, and go with what the Holy Spirit is breathing on. This is a sure way to have peace no matter what season you’re in.
6. Whatever season you’re in, use this time of singleness to let God define you – find out who you are in Him. I can’t think of many other gifts that are better than offering the gift of knowing yourself and what you have to offer others. What a meaningful and beautiful gift to give your spouse – a gift that keeps on giving! God made you uniquely you. No one else can fill your shoes. Discover what you like, what you don’t like, who you are, who you’re not, what gifts you have, what gifts you don’t have, etc. Ask God, “Who do you say I am?” There’s only one rule that I've adopted from Crystal Styles, a teacher I had at Bethel, and that is this: what you hear from God needs to surprise you with its goodness. Why? Because God is simply that good! We live in a world that constantly criticizes and soon we become our own worst critic. It’s time for that to change and for us to start believing we are who God says we are and then live it out!
7. Celebrate other’s love stories!  We’re all on unique journeys specifically tailored for each of us. Jealously sparks division, while celebration not only promotes unity, but invites breakthrough in our own lives. If you just aren't feeling like celebrating – that’s a good indicator that your breakthrough is just around the corner. Ask God to help you celebrate with your friends, choose to do so, and watch how God works to revive the hope and joy in your own life. Whatever you do, avoid the “if only” game. I’m talking about, “if I only I were Jane, I’d be married with three kids and having the time of my life.” “If only I dated Harry, I wouldn't be sitting at home along on a Friday night.” You get the picture. The pasture is always greener on the other side of the fence game just doesn't ring true. The truth is you’re always sifting through matters of the heart – whether you’re single, dating, or married. The truth is we all have God ordained appointments – and sometimes those are appointments are with Him alone. The truth is God brings beauty from ashes – in fact He specializes in that! So celebrate your friend’s love stories – your turn is coming and you’re going to want to have friends around to celebrate with you, right?
8. Capitalize on life as a single. Do now what you won’t be able to do as easily when you’re married. What brings you joy? Find out, make a list, and do it! Usually when we gain something, we give something up. I've watched many of my friends get married and go through a grieving process. That’s right, they grieved their single years. So don’t wish away your single years only to find that you never really lived them once you get married. That would require overtime in grieving. Not worth it. So go live up your dreams as a single!
9. Learn from your mistakes and choose differently next time. So a relationship didn't work out that you hoped would. That’s not rejection (remember you’re awesome!  - see Psalm 139 if you don’t believe me) – it’s just there’s a better yes for you. Instead of festering in self pity, thank God for that person and make a list of all that you learned about yourself and about dating through that relationship. Use these experiences to help you know more of what you’re looking for in a mate. Make notes, learn from those mistakes, and ask God for grace to choose differently next time. Joaquin Evans, another one of my teachers at Bethel, made a spectacular statement in his teaching one day. He said, what you focus on grows. It’s true when you think about it. Feed your flowers and the next thing you know, you have beautiful blossoms. Feed your weeds and the next thing you know they are strangling the beautiful flowers. But who feeds weeds? That’s just silly, right? Well, that’s what we’re doing when we entertain our worries and negative thoughts. How can we feed the flowers in our lives and gain beautiful blooms? Through thanksgiving. Focus on all that you’re thankful for including what you've gained from each relationship you’ve been in. It will transform your life – I promise! Go ahead, pull the weeds and watch the gorgeous flowers bloom!
10. Stay in community! Whatever you do – stay in community! Don’t isolate yourself because isolation only makes the enemy’s voice louder and makes you more susceptible to His stealthy attacks. We NEED God’s strength and the people He’s placed in our lives to stay encouraged and to be kept accountable so we don’t fall into the same pits we’ve been in previously.
11. Declare God’s promises over your life. I think it’s so fitting that I have 11 secrets to the successful single life and that I’m ending with this one. I honestly didn't know how many secrets I would have when I began this blog post. And I certainly didn't know I would end with this one. But check out Hebrews 11:11 “By faith Abraham, even though he was past age - and Sarah herself was barren - was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made the promise.” Abraham kept the faith and believed God to be faithful to come through on His promise. I have prayed for my future husband whenever I see the clock strike 11:11 for years. And I've prayed for my friends future spouses as well at that same time. It’s just been a beautiful reminder to lift up these desires and believe God for the promises He has made regarding these desires. One of the many ways I stay encouraged is by reviewing the promises God has made over my life and considering Him faithful who has made those promises. Scripture is filled with promises – so if you don’t have any specific promises coming to mind for you right now, just ask the Holy Spirit to hi-light His promise to you through his Word…then stand on it, declare it, and watch God work! Go ahead, be bold, and ask Him for a promise related to your desire to be married. We serve a personal God who loves to speak to us. Listen to His heart for you my friend, and be surprised by His goodness! I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. (See Ephesians 1:18-19)